Wednesday, January 28, 2009

5.5 hours is too much

Well, this weekend is off. I am not surprised. He calls last night and says that he thinks the long distance will be too much, and he wanted to tell me ahead of time before meeting and before emotions could get involved. I'm sorry, but since when is 5.5 hours too far?! Hm. Okay.

I just love that it was no sweat off my brow. I don't know if he expected me to be like, "Awww... but why? I'm so upset." But, I just said, "Okay, that's cool. I personally don't think 5.5 hours is too far to see each other 2 weekends a month, but if you do, it's no big deal." He told me definitely keep in touch. Uhh... .righttt..... like I will continue to waste my time doing that. I will be too busy with a man who doesn't care if he has to drive 6 hours to see me. For I am well worth it.

His loss. Totally. Boys can be pansises.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I'll call you back tomorrow, maybe.

I have been talking to this guy my friend electronically introduced me to for about 4 weeks now and we are supposed to be meeting next weekend half-way. We have really enjoyed getting to know one another the past few weeks and were excited to meet. He is too cute. Well, as of last night, I had not heard from him since Wednesday! 5 days. is.a.long.time.in.my.book. I am the advocate for the book, "He's Just Not That Into You" and know how to read signs. However, I keep trying to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. I had broken my own rules (yes I know this is a no-no), and texted him on Saturday night asking what the deal is for next weekend, because I am a busy girl and need to plan! No response. I saw him on FB chat that night, so I knew he had gotten my text. Okay, player. Okay... I see what's going on here.

Sunday night, I get a call form him at 8:00. I did not answer and let it ride to voicemail. I did listen to his message which consisted of a "what's up? just checking in... wanting to talk about next weekend.".... blah blah. Did I call him back? No. He can wait just like he made me wait five days. I might call him back tonight... and that's a big might. I hate the GAME! But, I have no choice right now but to play.

On a side note... my ex-boyfriend decided to let me know he has found someone knew. Why he chose to text me this news this morning, I have no clue. Trying to make me jealous? Possibly. However, it did not work. I did not respond, and I think that said the biggest statement of all.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Unapproachable

Sometimes I seriously wonder if I seem unapproachable. I am talkative and outgoing with strangers, don't get me wrong, however, when a cute guy goes walking by, I am like a turtle in its shell. I get so nervous!

Today, I was at one of my favorite sandwich shops. I get up to leave and get caught off-guard by catching eyes with a really nice-looking guy. He was looking at me and I immediately glanced in another direction. I told myself, "Well, great, he probably thinks you are one of those snobby women that thinks she's too good to talk." But, at the time, I am thinking, "Oh, there's no way he would like me." So, I dart in typical situations like that. Why can I not be more outgoing with guys I don't know?

Ugh! I need to seriously work on being more approachable.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Chance run-in

Don't you love those chance run-ins with an ex-beau? I sure do not. I love how they always catch you off-guard. The first initial reaction is to immediately stop eye contact, stare at the ground, and walk quickly past. Do you speak? Do you smile? Do you act as if he doesn't even exist? So many things go through your head during those quick seconds!

I love them when you're looking rockin. Do you know what I mean? Those days where you look perfectly put together with an amazing outfit on, a banging body shed of the pounds you may have accumulated while you were dating him and were involved in an emotional food bond, and every hair is put in place! Those are good run-ins. Those are the types you can say, "Ya, baby, you aren't getting any of this. So unfortunate."

Then, there are the days I had this past week. I looked awful. Woke up late. Threw on an easy outfit, and my hair in a pony. Didn't get to do the normal hair and makeup job I normally do. .... you get the point (we all have these days sometimes). Saw him.... got mad at myself for not looking hot. Knowing I probably won't see him in another 4 or 5 months, so from now until then I know he won't be looking back saying, "Wow, she looks amazing."

haha.... until the next run-in.

Second Chance

It's so great to know a God of second chances. Even when we mess up, he forgive us and loves us. This has really gotten me through a lot lately. Last night was an epiphany for me. There, flat on my face, I knew it was all going to be okay.

So thankful today.

Done.

That's it. I have had it. I will no longer give friendship to someone who continually two-faces me and could care less how I feel. Do you think you can continually walk over me with your "adjusted excuses?" no. There comes a point when I just need to stop always being the nice girl with a continual smile towards everyone. I am standing up for myself and what I KNOW is right.

I was there for you, but will no longer be.

Nastiness. ... that's all I can say.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Neccessary Intro

I needed to do this. I wake up every morning with different feelings and thoughts everyday. I love how I can do this anonymously. I can share good times, things that annoy me, talk about men (the good and the bad) and the game of dating, things that I stand for and disagree with.... all anonymously. I don't have to re-paint the picture of myself that is already painted.

Sometimes I just want to scream what I am thinking or ask questions... I am a pretty put-together girl, but I will be the first to admit that sometimes, I just need to talk! I need advice... answers.... suggestions....

A few things you need to know about me:

I am a Christian who desires to live daily for the Lord. Like all of us, I do mess up. Often! I am not afraid to admit my faults and downfalls, only to know that I learn lessons and am restored.

I enjoy my job, but am on the search to find what I really want to do!

I am southern and I love it!

I think there is a difference between a woman and a lady.

I am single. Currently.